Sweet 16

 Yesterday morning I set out for my weekly long run, and it proved to be my toughest one to date. The training schedule said 16 miles so I was sticking to the plan. I wasn't too intimidated by the mileage count b/c in the past few weeks I have completed 14 and 15 miles accordingly w/ the fuel to keep on going. The night before this long run my sleep had been restless and I kept on waking up every hour. When the alarm went off at 6 am my body was not ready to start running so I hesitantly snoozed for an extra hour knowing I'd somehow pay for this during the run. And indeed I did! Because of the later start it was warmer and the sun was beating down on me the entire 2 plus hours! My runner's tan is now permanent w/ distinct razor back tan lines and tank top straps tattooed on my front side. How will I ever wear a strapless dress again?

The run started at 8am and this was by far the toughest mental and physical run I've had up to this point. The first 5 miles felt great but the rest went downhill. During miles 5-10 all I could think about were my cramps! Menstrual cramps and side cramps crept up and haunted me for a grueling 5 miles. It was a dull pain that wouldn't go away even w/ deep breaths and constant hydration. I fought the urge to stop and didn't want to feel like a sissy girl stopping due to "feminine" issues. (Remember all those girls who took the side lines or walked during the weekly mile in junior high due to "the time of the month?" Not me!) I tried to mentally distract myself by thinking about the reward I'd feed myself at the end of the run - french toast? Jamba juice? An omelette? Hash browns? An ice bath? All of the above!! This was semi-successful until my feet starting hurting and feeling the heat radiating up from the asphalt. I could start to feel all the blisters throbbing in-between my little toes. My pace started to slow down from a turtle's pace to a snail's pace. I was barely lifting my feet off the ground. I physically felt like I was falling apart!!

Determined to complete the 16 miles I started negotiating w/ myself ... How about I try the walk run method I recently read about - run 10 minutes, then walk 1 minute? It's suppose to help w/ post run recovery, improve overall long distance time,  AND I get to walk! Keep in mind, I usually run the entire distance and today I was convincing myself I could walk! So at mile 14, I came to a halt when  noticed I was running a 12:30 pace - 3 minutes off my normal pace. I started walking and savored the 60 seconds, but when it came time to run again my legs were putting up a fight w/ me. It was a struggle, but I managed to run a good 5 minutes before I hastefully removed my water fanny pack hoping for a miraculous surge of energy! Somehow I thought I'd be lighter w/o the hydration belt and could run faster? Hahahaha! (I wasn't thinking straight in that moment!) The water had now depleted from the 2 10oz. bottles as I was running on empty as well.

At 15.14 miles I stopped and didn't want to move. I was done and my legs were done. No mas! But something inside me took over and I told myself "strap on the fanny pack and keep on going!" I was so close and I didn't want to quit on myself. I'm not a quitter! So I strapped on the fanny pack and ran the remaining .85 miles. It didn't look pretty but I sang through my power jams and cheered on my aching legs. 2 hours and 45 minutes later I finished! This little turtle made it across the invisible finish line! Not an impressive time for me, but I'll take it b/c I didn't give up! I learned to run in adverse physical conditions and put my mind over matter. I was humbled b/c for the first time I hit a wall, and the pride of running at a 9:30 pace was now non-existent. It's not about the "fast" pace, but it's about the act of mental and physical endurance.  Long distance running is 60% mental and 40% physical. I started this running journey 7 months ago to help me regain personal strength in my mind, body, and spirit. Like most things in life, I got distracted and caught up w/ the details of split times and pace runs. As I continue on, I'm now reminded why I run ... I run to be liberated in my mind, fierce with my body, and at one with my Spirit.